Hello Greece

Few of you who have taken time out from their busy schedule of internet surfing and read my previous blogs must have guessed by now and if not ,let me recapitulate. My wife is the most fun loving , adventurous and out-going person,one would come across.

With a less hectic schedule after recent change of jobs, she was not busy decorating the house,learning new recipes to please me but was painstakingly (for me) and joyously (for her ) charting out a plan to do Europe tour. Everyday she tried bouncing ideas with me and I, like the wall of the racket ball court, bounced it back to her.

In one of her previous births ,she might have been sister of Marco Polo or Christopher Columbus.Back then, they would not allow women to go on expeditions and she must have suffered from sibling rivalry .As a result for those previous birth longings she was on the path of going for world tour.

The other times she expects me to do all the booking and planning, but this time either she was too excited. She did all the arrangements, booking tickets , hotels,trips, ferries everything. The thought of leaving the comfort of my ergonomic chair and my mac book and that too for 10 days, made me turn to different tactics to stall the plan. I feigned my busy work schedule .’’there are some deadlines to meet this month’’,I said.To which she replied nonchalantly ,’’ we are going only for a few days , you can come back and work. It is not like you guys are saving lives’’.

I tried to make her feel guilty on the monetary loss we might incur,. ‘’Trip will cost some money’’,I said as I looked at my bank statement.
‘’Don't worry I will not buy anything and live frugally for a month after we come back,she said reassuringly by placing her hand over mine and then logged out of the Bank of America website. I used the last means at my disposal. I tired bribing her, with things we could do over the long weekend. All my covert operations were flushed down the drain and we were on our way to Greece and Germany.

After 15 hr long journey divided in two flights we reached Athens.’’Our first day of sightseeing will get started in precisely 15 min ,’’she said as we opened the door of the hotel room. ‘’You have 10 min to brush and get dressed ‘’she said looking at the clock on the night table. As the hot water poured on me the aches and pains from the journey were just starting to melt away when she bellowed ,’’It is eleven minutes since you went in , we are not here to spend time in the hotel. Come out soon,’’.



We walked out of the hotel towards the Acropolis which we were told is walking distance. On our way was Plaka,it is a famous pedestrian street, full of tourists. Shops on either side of the street,eateries,ethnic Greek jewellery,Greek plates ,and more such stuff which was all Greek and Latin to me. Forgetting me ,was not something which could never happen,but she also forget her schedule of sightseeing and the Parthenon and started going to every shop. When I say every shop, I mean every shop.Some how we reached the end of the street and were on our way .At the ticket counter for the Acropolis the lady pointed towards the top of a flat topped rock and told the way to reach there.It was a climb on the Acropolis to reach the top. Scorching sun,80 F,no cool winds, and a steep climb- not my ideal way of holidaying.I remembered my thousand dollar ticket to Greece and kept climbing up.I want to say reaching the top and seeing the Parthenon, was a sight for sore eyes ,but unfortunately I am not a connoisseur of history or architecture and all it felt to me was limestones kept over each other and some semblance to a building which was once there. All around tourist were going gaga over it and so was my wife.There was a rope all around the monument so no one could get close and touch it .It just occurred to me that on one of the by-lanes of Purani Dilli there is a old broken down ,long forgotten Haveli.I thought ,that was much more majestic looking then the one in front of me ,and it wouldn't have cost money to see it. The Haveli, most definitely would have had a interesting history to match up to the history of Parthenon which was built in honor of Goddess Athena.


Felt like Athens was New Delhi albeit much more cleaner and organized ,and the monuments Old Delhi. Once done with Athens, we were on our way to Santorini Island. The schedule was ready for the next visit. We would reach at 12 am in the night, will be getting up at 6am next morning to enjoy the hotel view and at 10 am sharp a bus will be ready to take us to the Port. From there we will be going to see a Volcano and hot springs and the later to see sunset at ‘’Oia’’.This was conveyed to me on the way to Santorini and also a leverage was given to me by her ,’’if you want you can sleep till 6.30a.m’’
.’’What about till 7,?’’ I tried to extract more.
‘’Don't you want to see the beauty of this place,we will go for a walk after breakfast.So 6.30 a.m seems fair’’,she said trying hard to discover the beauty even in the darkness as we landed at the port at 12 am.There was no other option except to forgo my beauty sleep.

Full of excitement of reaching Santorini, the place of her dreams I think she did not sleep at all that night and her tossing and turning and going out to the balcony of the hotel room and singing Hindi songs on seeing the full moon did not allow me to also get a wink. The place was amazing with the blue water and sky and the church domes painted blue too. Quaint and colorful town on the edge of mountains ,meandering street all made it a place to visit, but not something for my sleep to get so terribly ruined.



Bus and a wooden boat ride and we were dropped at the foot a mountain with black rocks. To see the mouth of the dormant volcano we had to climb again the cliff. I don't have enough words to describe the painful journey which was interspersed by the guides speech on the abundance of nature resources and how all of them were getting wasted.How the only source of income in the parts in tourism. My sympathies for him were hindered by his speech which was making the climb longer in the hot sun.

On top of the dormant volcano ,the guide dug a small hole in the mud and told us to put the hand in front of the mouth of the hole.’’You can feel the hot air coming from the volcano which is dormant and the sulphur gas will have a smell of eggs gone bad’’,he said as he asked all of us to touch the mud in his hand which was hot. Everyone started putting their hands to get the feel of the hot sulphur gas. ‘’Don't you want to feel it ‘’?she asked me as I showed no intentions of doing the same. It was not as if I was missing a lifetime opportunity of touching some precious stones.As far as I was concerned maybe someone was burning coal in a room below and the hot air was a remnant of that and not of the Volcano. Done with the present adventure and back to the wooden boat we were on our way to the Hot Springs. The water apparently was warmer than the rest of sea due to the Volcano. In between we did go to a small restaurant on the port which was serving grilled chicken, beef and octopus. The food was different and good in taste ,so far my only good experience.



Just as the boat was reaching the hot springs,the guide announced,’’we are forty feet away from the hot spring.As people are swimming there we cant go to the exact spot .From here one has to swim to the hot spring.’’ Darn,I was so looking forward to it and here too will have to do a laborious task of swimming to reach there.’’I thought as I started seeing all the co passengers ready to jump in the water. The first person to jump was a white teenager girl,maybe from US. As she jumped she shrieked’’ water is too cold’’.’’ Don't worry the hot springs will make you feel so much better’’, the other passengers comforted her.



There was a line next to the ladder to climb down to the cold,not so clean water and in that was my dear wife. Seeing her in the line made my heart skip a beat,’’she will make me also go in there’’,I thought.
‘’It’s OK if you don't want to go, I am going, will be back soon,’’she said eagerly as if she had read my mind. People of all sizes,ages, were jumping in with joy,and I was satisfied standing aside with a few hand full of people enjoying the screams.

With all the hard work,and energy drained journey back to Oia was quite.The picturesque town seemed such a relief from all the day’s work,but not for me. Mesmerized,she had to be in every nook, corner,street of the town,god forbid if she missed anything.At about eight a clock I pleaded to call it a day,which she did with the promise to come back again to Oia and soak herself with the beauty of the town

Intelligence Quotient

It all started with a momentary lapse in my knowledge of geography of USA. On one of our vacation trip to Hawaii ,I was doing the preparatory work .I was flummoxed . I could not get driving direction to Hawaii on map quest. It kept saying , ''Cannot find directions''.Well, I never claimed any proficiency in Geography .She caught me red handed in my moment of weakness . ''How can you get driving directions to Maui ,it is an Island '',she said.From then on began series of Agni Parikshas to prove my mettle


Everyday there was a new challenge, some were innocuous , some difficult and others mind boggling.Like the other day ,she asked me ''Do you know the meaning of my name? 'Hmm,what ? No, I don't know that '',I answered trying best to wriggle out of the question answer session. ''You don't even know know the meaning of your wife's name ''she said with the expression of shock and horror as if she had just heard her husband was Green Goblin ,the sworn enemy of Spider-man.Names having meaning is an part of Indian culture.Do the names ,Ann, Sue , Julia , any of these names have a meaning ?Coming back to my on the spot moment,I offered her my sincere apologies and told her to tell me the meaning of her name .To which she answered'' Do some research, find it yourself ''.

Then a month or two later, one evening as I was relaxing by reading my all time favorite ''The Mahabharata ''.She came to me and said''Come lets do a medium level Sudoku Quiz and see who finishes up first ''. I thought to myself ''Heavens Forbid if I lose to her,I am never seeing end to these quizzes. I have to win. I had never played Sudoku before but she had a couple of times. So one of these days ,she had taken time out from her extremely busy schedule to explain to a lesser mortal what it was all about .For those of you who are not aware of what it is . It is a fill in the blank with numbers where digits one to ten should come only once in all the line. The theme music of the movie '' Chariots of fire'' starting playing in my head as I took my seat next to her for the battle. I felt an overwhelming sense of burden of saving the grace of all husband-kind of the world. I summoned all my brain cells to start working at the fastest possible speed and beckoned all the Gods to be on my side. With a Jai Mata Di , I started filling the digits in the blank spaces.. About fifteen minutes later , I glanced at her sheet and she just was about half way done.It was a do or die situation, failure was not an option. I concentrated hard on the quiz , and made a small offer to God of $ 5 prashad. There was pin-drop silence for another twenty minutes. Just then there was a shriek piercing the tic tic of the clock,the only sound present in the house. It was the sound of triumph , my triumph.She grabbed my sheet in disbelief and checked all the numbers twice.I had beaten her fair and square.

I will be going to temple tomorrow to offer my thanks to the Almighty.

Right to be Right

Has anyone given a thought to the fact that she has the right to be right .It is not anytime, sometime but it is all the time. Looks like the wives all over the world have it as their birthright. That is the right to be right in front of their husbands

.As I remember even in childhood, Chacha Choudary whose brain was faster than the computer and Saboo his loyal big tall friend would be obeying Mrs Chachi Choudary. Whatever she said was the order of the house.Later in IIT how the day would pan out , would one get a devastatingly , deadly surprise quiz or not ,depended on the mood of the Proff. And his mood was directly proportional to the his wife having asserted her right to be right.


Later over the years this fact has become crystal clear . Any argument which I seem to be wining in round 1 , by the time it comes to round 3 , she somehow manages to win and be right. Just the other day,I put up proposal on her table for approval regarding a lap desk.I have laptop and a designated table for my work Then there are the times when I want to work sitting on the couch. Man has needs and the need of the hour was for a lap desk.I stood in front of her as she read her book, just like how a student satnds in front his teacher wanting a restroom break . I presented my case saying’’ I have to work long hours and need to be comfortable. I am learning new technology and working on a project ,I would like you to authorize a lap desk for work for me..Round 1 : I win.

She heard the argument and it seemed she was deliberating on it like a Hindi film Judge. After 5 minutes of pensive thoughts she said, ‘’there are two many of your gadgets lying on the couch , and the lap desk will also just be lying around, I think it is a waste ‘’. Round 2 :She wins.

She took a pause and then looked at me with the most serious expression and said ‘’If you want to work and have the passion to work , you can do it under any circumstances with or without lap desk. Just see the recent Olympic medal winner Boxer Vijendra .He did not have any facilities and managed to win a medal . Don't you agree with me ?

‘’Yes dear ,I agree, you are right ‘’. Round 3 and the match goes to her .Who could argue with that reasoning.Such heavy duty argument for a ten dollar lap desk.Phew!!!

Maybe it is a law of the Universe.Like the water is blue and leaves are green,and the force of gravity, and the Wife has the Right to be Right always .

Paneer Pakodaas

The Sunday evening was charming . A brisk cool wind was blowing and making the tall trees dance to its rhythm.I opened our living room window for the wind to seep in . Sitting on the couch with my i pad ,i did not remain untouched by the the breeze.It was an opportune time to have some hot tea and maybe pakodas and maybe Paneer Pakodaas. Me , Ruby on Rails(ROR) on Ipad, tea in hand and pakoddas in mouth ,would be ambrosial.So with the intention of the above, I looked at her making the eyes of a lost puppy.She did not raise her eyes from the book she was reading.I thought it was time to come clean and speak from the heart otherwise dream of the pakoddaas will remain unfulfilled . ''Feel like having tea and pakodaas'', I said sheepishly. She finally raised her head from the book and said '' You just had tea one hour before and you just had lunch three hours back.What is the need for another cup of tea '',she chided me. ''Of course ,one hour back tea, 3 hours back lunch , 12 hour back dinner , does that mean I am not entitled to any more eating pleasures ,I thought to myslf . Then suddenly as if after a change of heart she said ''Accha , I will make it ''. A wave of happiness surged in me and I can say with the song Kuch kuch hota hai surmised my feeling about the pakoddas at the moment .



Tearing herself from her book , she and went to the kitchen . She opened the packet of besan and started putting water in it . I saw her from the corner of my eye felt satisfied seeing things going in right direction or so I thought.With her hands smudged totally in the wet besan, she beckoned me . ''My hands are all soaked now , can you pour oil in the pan.You can leave after that',she said . Alarm bells started ringing in my head giving me a warning that the call in the kitchen for pouring of oil is a pretext and there is more to come. Everyone knows , how Sita was cajoled to step out of the laxman rekha . Hindu Mythology is witness to what happened after that.Me stepping out of the Laxman rekha of the living room looked ominous to me . Despite the warnings going in my head I went and put a pan with oil on the burner. ''Now that you are here , why don't you also make the tea.You make so much better tea than me,''she said matter of factly while she cut the paneer delicately in cubes,in same breath chopping my lazy afternoon .Yes,the warning had come true.

So here I was in kitchen making tea and she on the other burner was frying the pakoddas.When about five or so were done, suddenly the phone bell rang. It was her friend whom she had not spoken for a long time. I have my suspicions , she might have tweeted or chatted or facebooked her friend to call her in the time of her need.While on the phone , she gestured and then whispered to me ''take care of the pakkoddas,slowly take them out from the oil ''.So now she was siting on the couch babbling away on the phone, putting her feet up waiting for tea and Pakodaas which I was preparing . Finally it was she , her phone , tea in her hand and pakoddas in her mouth .

This Saturday when I sat down to write , she came up to me and said ''You are writing all not so good things about me , how about writing about some of my qualities''. I thought to myself and mused,'' She has many many qualities.In the month of April when she decided to cook , she juggled up a scrumptious meal ,in the month of May when she decided to clean the house she made it spotless.But those are the qualities which come up bimonthly . I decided to put my heart and soul into writing about one of her yearly/perennial quality .




As I pondered over the thought for some time ,I suddenly felt enlightened and realized what a wonderful quality she has, which I was overlooking . All those times when things were not clear and I had questions about who Shahid Kapoor was dating now days. She knew the answer. Whenever I was stuck and needed more know how on the ceremonies and the guest list of Abishek -Aishwarya Rai wedding ,she would always dish out the answer from her sea of information. Her knowledge transcends continent and oceans. She is as much aware of Halle Berry break up with her boyfriend Gabreil Aubry as she is of Deepika -Ranbeer Kapoor 's breakup. The best way to describe how stuck she is to the Internet,reading voraciously is by saying this phrase . ''यह fevicol का मजबूत जोड़ है ttootaga नही ''.She is so well versed with who is who's mother in law , ex- husband ,sister ,brother that I wont be amazed if she the knew Shrek the ogre and Puss in boots genealogy.

Her proficiency is not just restricted to the movie world but goes beyond to books and television too.If someone ever needs a synopsis for a previous missed episode of Lost ,House , Baa Bahoo and Baby or Ristha kya kehlata hai (the list is unending) just holler to her and she will give it better than even the ABC website.I have my suspicions though still not proven as yet that she might be a expert on the Chinese and Mexican telly world too. Sports soon became her forte when Tiger Woods story began to unravel. She knew the latest of Tiger Woods tryst in his unending saga of female lovers.Not a single article ever written on Sania-Shoaib-Ayesha had slipped past her unread.She knows the family details of Dhoni, Yuvraj like back of her hand. So this is my ode to her whom I sometimes also call ''Walking , talking Wikepedia''.

My IPL Saga

I am thinking of joining the BCCI's gang of cricket- lords who are gunning after Lalit Modi with their agenda. I too have a bone to pick with him about this IPL extravaganza,he has created . It has been three years since it came in reckon .And all the years I have been suffering in one form or the other.

When I went for my annual India trip to Delhi, which happened to be the First year of the IPL . I had no choice but to watch the matches held in blazing sun with the Delhi Loo scalding my cheeks and the perspiration giving me a sauna bath in the Feroz Shah Kotla Stadium. Before going for the vacation,I had dreams of sitting in the the cool comfort of the Samsung Air conditioner, eating HaldiRam's samosa and kachoris with the evening tea.Instead of cool ,mom made Lassi , I was drinking not so chilled, fifty rupees Pepsi there.I was fully aware of her love for Cricket,but oblivious of her arranging the tickets even before we boarded the flight. It did not matter if Virender Sehwag is there as a captain, but we were there to see the live action . I just about managed to escape a heat stroke that Indian Summer.

For the past one month and more IPL has been the flavor of the month in our household.One evening when I arrived, I was told by my sprightly wife that she had bought the IPL package on Direct TV. The days became just a tad different from then on for a month and more.Mornings, I woke up to the sounds of loud claps and exclamation of ''WOW,Bravo,what a catch''. The live match was on and she was up since 5.30 am watching Tendulakar vs Warne and supporting Warne whole heartedly.She could jump with joy on the couch but I was not allowed to loiter in the home especially not in front of the television set.It was curfew time for those morning hours.For breakfast it was burnt toast and boiled eggs, as she could not afford to miss even one DLF maximum Sixes.Shoving is what I had to do to her to get her to her office. On reaching my office,I would be greeted by a phone call or chat message informing if Rajasthan Royal won or Preity's boys.Dinners were a lavish spread if her team won and only Kichdi if her favorite team would loose. I cant even fathom what Raj Kundra would be going through when Rajasthan Royal lost.


The IPL has ended and so are my curfew days. The sun is shining again on me and I have decided to email my laundry list of complaints about Mr Modi to Shashank Manoher .I am sure he would be pleased to get my letter so he can add more fuel to the fire. I hope they are able to get reigns on him because my dearest wife has noxious designs for the IPL, next year and I am afraid the burnt toast would be difficult to digest again.

Pact

Pacts , is what makes a lifetime . One makes all kinds of them.Some with self, some with God, some with your Boss and most of them with your wife . One of the deals between us is that ,I watch one of her chick flicks and she watches one of the action/gory movies with me . So she has watched "Black Hawk Down" , "300" for me and I have in turn watched ''Devil wears Prada, with her.You would think that seeing Meryl Streep,Anne Hathway and all the talk about fashion would have been a deterrence for me .But not until I saw the next movie as per our agreement, which was the epitome of feminism.

One lovely evening in Pasadena , I found myself standing next to her,while she was in the line to get tickets to see her movie. We entered the not yet darkened theater and to my utter embrassment,it was packed bevy of females .What else could one expect, I was in fact going to see ''Sex and the City''.But seeing is believing . I strained my eyes to find another member of my species . With great difficulty ,I located another fellow sufferer who would be going through the same torment as me . After taking our respective seats , it felt as if there is no escaping this place. .This is what Abhimanyu must have felt after entering the Chakaravyu ,surrounded by bloodthirsty enemies with no way out.

Carrie Bradshaw aka Sarah Jessica Parker appeared on screen, she was going to get married.The theater echoed with OOH AA H'S. My starry eyed wife looked at me to see if I was too enjoying like her . I suppressed my real emotions and smiled in appreciation of the proceeding in the movie.Some time later, Carrie Bradshaw was stood up by her finance and her wedding was stalled.The theater again resonated with sighs and ''OH NO'S.She again looked at me to find out if I also understood Carrie Bradshaw pain.And,here I was hoping if my partner could understand my pain.To get some reprieve, I asked her if she wanted popcorn or soda , hoping that the queue would be so long that I will miss most of the movie.No such luck. She was so engrossed in the movie and she did not want anything. In between the two hours, there was a moment where an unheard ,unsaid sympathy was conveyed through eyes to the other lone male gender sitting with his girlfriend.

Finally Carrie Bradshaw got married, and I felt my shackles being broken. I stepped out of the hall and took a deep breath under the open skies amidst the hullabullu of the shopping mall.I was appreciating the Pasadena crowded mall in a new light.On the way back, she asked me '' So how was the movie ?''. I could not control myself and finally announced to her'' after this last experience, I am proclaiming our little treaty null and void''.